and with that, i’m done.
this blog has been enjoyable to have. but honestly, i’m pretty tired of it. i don’t even feel comfortable making personal posts anymore? and that sucks.
and after doing some self-evaluation, i know that i really need a fresh start. i’ve had a new blog for a little while now, and honestly i am just a lot happier being able to post things that are actually relevant to my interests (surprise), and talk to people and make jokes and actually have fun blogging.
so that’s it, i’m done here. 
figured i would let you all know.
it’s been real.

/ollies outie

People have shamed me many times for being on medication.
‘It’s not natural. It’s not good for you.’
I haven’t taken them in about four days.
Yesterday, I broke.
When I wasn’t asleep, I was weeping.
Not for any reason specifically. Both my body and mind were just completely overwhelmed with sadness, and this constant feeling of insurmountable dread was weighing on me; too heavy.
Without those absurd pills, every day is like this.
Fuck you. I dare anyone to function like that.

"Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. And that’s okay. Your journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. Your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s because you aren’t like anyone else. You’re a person all your own with a unique set of goals, obstacles, dreams, and needs. So stop comparing, and start living. You may not have ended up where you intended to go. But trust, for once, that you have ended up where you needed to be. Trust that you are in the right place at the right time. Trust that your life is enough. Trust that you are enough."

I doubt that I will ever be enough.
For anybody.

Someone posted me on /cgl/.
I don’t know if that’s good or bad
but I think I’m flattered!

Oh gosh. I don’t know where you all even came from!
But I really appreciate you guys sticking around.

you are not your eating disorder, do not let it be your identity because then it has consumed you 

(Source: gore-pop)

all i want is to be special, and the only way i know how is to be underweight.

(Source: gore-pop)

I’ve been trying hard to be kind to myself lately.
Forgiving my mistakes, and overlooking my imperfections.
Giving myself a break, for once.

But I can’t afford to any longer,
My priorities are fucked up, but I know what they are.

Don’t worry about your body.
It isn’t as small as it once was, 
But honestly, the world needs more of you. 
You look in the mirror 
like you’ve done something wrong, 
But you look perfect. 
Anyone who says otherwise is telling a lie 
to make you feel weak. 
And you know better. 
You’ve survived every single day, 
for as long as you’ve been alive.
You could spit fire if you wanted.

I’ve been making a lot of personal progress lately, I think. Or maybe I’ve just been staying busy. Whatever. It feels nice.